Do you know how to realize whether you're deeply in love with someone? If you want to put their head in a toilet and flush it, you're well on your way!
Seriously, haven't you noticed that the people you love the most are also the people you want to punch the most? They are the people you feel comfortable yelling at, and often, the people you hurt the most. Why? Because you feel that their love is unconditional. You know that *sometimes you have to battle it out to end the war and live, for a little while at least, in peace.
But how do you determine when to bring the big guns out, and when to put the clip back in the bomb? Ok, maybe you can't exactly do that, but you know what I'm sayin.
Well, I'm no relationship expert, and no where near perfect in my relationship, but I can say that looking back at my crazy ass self 5 years ago, I have definitely grown in maturity, and see things in a more healthy light now.
So I am going to outline my points by using examples of Old versus New Bea,
1) Old Bea:
If a guy said something she didn't like, no matter how stupid and insignificant, she would NOT let it go. Like seriously, what the hell did he mean by "I'll let you know if I can hang out this weekend"???? Like what, he'll only hang out with me if there's nothing better for him to do? He won't change his schedule around for me? He won't try to fit me into his life? OH, SO I'M NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO HIM? Literally, the exact words were dissected down to their etymology, the meaning analyzed like a research project, and the intention studied and felt telepathically through his energy streams.
New Bea:
Just like that annoying ass song that kids and fat old men love to sing, she has learned to LET IT GOOOOOOO. Of course she still has moments where she's thinking about things that he said that rubbed her the wrong way or were confusing, but the difference is that a) she can think about it logically and reason whether it really is significant and b) if she decides it is significant, she can just have an adult conversation about what is bothering her and why. And in all honesty, ain't nobody got time to get mad at all that shit.
2) Old Bea:
If Old Bea was mad, she got MAD. She would lose her temper, yelling at the top of her lungs, threatening to throw his Call of Duty out the window. This usually resulted in him saying she was a crazy bitch, because she was acting like one, and not actually resolving the issue, just having him do anything to shut her up.
New Bea:
She realizes that a guy is not even going to listen to her once she starts the yelling and the dramatic spectacles. She knows the way to actually get a guy to listen and care about what's bothering her is by withholding sex...jk, kind of...of course I meant by having a real conversation. This entails explaining and giving SPECIFIC examples about the issue, as well as giving solutions to how to make her feel better. This way, the guy can fully understand her point of view and the things she needs. Also, timing. It might not be the best idea to bring it up when he just came home from work and just wants to unwind. But not everything has to be a 'serious' talk, sometimes new Bea uses the power of laughter to get her point across. If your guy makes a joke about the way you look, you can throw in something like, "Well, we can't all be super models like you" (optional winky face) to just keep the situation light.
3) Old Bea:
Old Bea knew that, above everything else, the most important thing about a fight is WINNING. Whether it was a critical debate on the Crimean War, to the importance of putting the toilet seat down, all that Old Bea knew was that she had to be RIGHT. What was actually being fought about lost any and all meaning and it just turned into a contest of how fast she could wear a guy down and get him to cave and apologize, no matter if he was right.
New Bea:
New Bea hates fights. The only time she knows it is necessary to fight is if something is really wrong and needs to be hashed out. But she doesn't give a shit about 'winning' the fight, it's much more valuable to reach a conclusion to the fight where there is a compromise which makes both parties happy. She is willing to sometimes sacrifice winning for the other person's happiness, but is also firm in being heard and understood in issues that matter to her.
So, to sum up:
Old Bea was a bitch.
New Bea knows when to be a bitch.
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